Thursday, June 21, 2007
Weird Dream.
So, I was in some sort of zoo, lying on the grass near the water, where they kept a plesiosaur of the Loch Ness variety. Of course, there was still some debate as to whether or not the Loch Ness Monster existed, so they had this area of water where they thought that they kept it if it did exist. Anyway, I saw it. In the meantime, a squirrel attacked my big toe, so I quickly twisted my foot to get it off, but I ended up accidentally flicking the squirrel into the water, where the Lock Ness Monster ate it.
Labels: dreams
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Weird Dreams.
The other night I was in this building that was kinda like a church, except it was used by some Illuminati-like cult or something, and everything was dark mahogany and red carpet. I was distressed to learn that most of the adults of my hometown were members, and there were a bunch of little kids drawing symbols of the Crimson King on napkins. The end of the hallway (that ran beside the auditorium) led to the outside, but the sky was dark and gray, and there were these wastelands that led to an abyss. In the middle of the abyss was this island-like plateau that you could reach by these stone arch-like structures, and it was there that the cult was attempting to open up a doorway into another plane, so the demons and stuff could come through.
Naturally, it was up to me to stop them.
I didn't quite make it to the plateau, but halfway across the wastelands I did find a copy of Nirvana's 'In Utero' album in an apartment bathroom, but it was the Wal-Mart version.
A couple of nights later I dreamt that I was in this mall and they were giving away copy paper boxes, each of which contained a free cat or dog.
Labels: dreams
Monday, March 27, 2006
Weird Dream.
(or "You Know You're Obsessing Over Snakes on a Plane Too Much When...")
So, I dreamt that I went to go see Snakes on a Plane with some friends. Next thing I know, I've actually been cast to play the son of Samuel L. Jackson's character in the movie. The skin tone differences were explained by the fact that he married a caucasian woman, so the eldest two kids (me and some girl) were fair skinned, while the remaining ten siblings (five pairs of twins) were somewhat darker. Anyway, we were only in the opening sequence, and we were all sitting in the kitchen for breakfast before Samuel L. Jackson got on the plane, and then I was playing in the driveway and somebody had brought some candy that was like giant chewy sugar cubes in wax paper.
Labels: dreams
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Weird Dream.
So, I dreamt that I was looking in the mirror and I popped a zit. But instead of white stuff, a white centipede came out - I had to grab it with my hand and yank it out. It ended up being about 6 inches long. Then I noticed a smaller one crawling around underneath my skin and I was trying to catch him so I could pop him out too. It was gross. I think my head was covered with ferns, too.
Somebody asked me what I ate earlier that night. Bratwurst and sauerkraut (German food, in honor of Reformation Day). I think that explains a lot. Actually, it reminds me of those episodes of the Cosby Show when Cliff would eat a sausage sandwich, and then have bizarre, bizarre dreams where he gave birth to a ten-foot-long hoagie and a 2-liter bottle of grape soda, or the one where he got kidnapped by Muppets. Oh, and there was also that episode of The X-Files where Doggett rips that foot-long slug creature out of Scully's back, after cutting a hole in the back of her neck with his pocket knife. Ugh.
Labels: dreams
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Weird Dreams.
So, the other night I dreamt that I was at Baja Fresh, except that it also was the fellowship hall of my church AND my college's cafeteria. Right. Anyway, I ordered my food and sat down at a table against the wall, where there were three seats. Brian B. sits down across from me, and I thought Jon would sit down with us, but he sat at another table so Charlene could sit with him, so Emily sits with us instead. I went to go get napkins or something, and I returned, I discovered that the Persians had hid my food. So after looking under tables for a while, I yell out to tell whoever hid it to return it, which they did, but now it was cold. So I went to the counter to get it heated up. While standing there, my feet were ran over by miniature remote control stomper trucks. I stood back and a bunch of people ran into a side door where Byron was standing (they were going to the prayer meeting). While standing at the counter, they bring out dessert, which was Ben&Jerry's strawberry ice cream, which Stephanie was excited about.
And then last night, I dreamt I went to Rod's for movie night and I learned how to levitate while watching the old cartoon version of "Return of the King".
Labels: dreams
Monday, May 09, 2005
Weird Dream.
So, I was among a group of space-faring human refugees without a homeworld, who lived on a group of spaceships. I was a member of a delegation sent to meet with some aliens who might be possible allies. Their ship docked with ours and they came on board. The aliens looked like dogs and they were about a foot high. Anyway, we went down to their planet.
We arrive at this house, on which the vinyl siding didn't go all the way down to the ground, and I could see that the inside of the walls was filled with sleeping wiener dogs for insulation. Now, I know well enough to let sleeping dogs lie, so I didn't say anything. A beagle ran up to us, but he collapsed and fell asleep as he reached us. It was explained to me that there was a special field that extended out around the house that makes dogs, well, dog-tired when they come within six feet of the house.
Labels: dreams
Thursday, April 21, 2005
Weird Dream.
I dreamt that I was in a Wal-Mart in Mexico the other day, and I can't speak spanish.
Labels: dreams
Monday, March 28, 2005
Weird Dreams Over the Weekend.
So, about twenty or so people from my church and I go on a trip to Colorado. We stay in a cabin near/in a city there that slightly resembles my aunt's old home in Chesterfield, but is slightly like a hotel as well.
I go into the bathroom, which also apparently functions as the utility room, because on the left side is the washer and dryer, and on the right side is the bathtub. I can't find the toilet. Smedly points out that it's in the corner. It is a very small portapot, like you would find in a cabin-cruiser-type boat, which also means you have to throw away the plastic bag filled with your rubbish after you finish. Whether I used it or not, I don't remember. I go back to the kitchen to find something to eat. There were several trays of Subway sandwiches, and Leslie couldn't decide which one she wanted.
I'm standing on a hillside, probably a ski-slope or something, when suddenly the entire hill is engulfed in flames, but then goes back to normal. "What was that?" I ask. Someone then explains to me it was actually a video of the Great Forest Fire that devastated Memphis, TN back in the 1980s. Okay... So they replayed it for me.
Byron is teaching a sunday school class for new homeowners. I didn't do my homework, and play with my MP3 player instead. On the screen appears to be film footage of a dirt road shot from a moving vehicle. Then, I'm driving an off-road vehicle. Then, I'm driving an off-road vehicle in an off-road indoor arena on a reality tv show. Then, I'm watching someone else on the show who is waist-deep in a pool that simulates the Amazon River, and there's this giant red scaly eel with a 2-inch stinger on its tail.
I'm in Europe. There are some enemy secret agents about, and there is this secret facility with a device that appears to be made of clear plastic. It folds sort of like a cell-phone, but many different ways like a Rubik-style puzzle. If activated, it will swallow all matter like a black hole. I think I keep the enemy agents away from it, but I can't remember...
Labels: dreams
Saturday, January 22, 2005
Weird Dream.
In a geekful collusion of bad guys, the Cylons, Borg, and Agent Smith take over whatever planet it is that I'm on. Most everybody has disappeared. The bad guys catch me, but don't actually do anything to me. Smith explains that they just need the planet for its strategic military importance. I ask if they're going to turn me into a borg/robot. "Nah, probably not, I wouldn't worry about it," he says.
I gotta cut back on my TV watching.
Labels: dreams
Sunday, December 19, 2004
Weird Dream.
So, I'm in this large building which is either a college, my church, or a mall. There's some sort of reception going on, and a bunch of friends are there. I think sushi was served amongst the snacks. I think I may have seen Special Agent Fox Mulder (from The X-Files), but I definitely saw Special Agent Dana Scully (also from The X-Files), because she had been shot. She died right in front of me, and it was sad, so I cried, but I felt a little bit silly because everybody knows that Mulder and Scully are just ficticious characters from a TV show. At this point they both disappeared, or the dream cut to a different scene or something.
And so I've been assigned to this one room which had an open front to the main part of the mall. I think it was on the 3rd or 4th level. Oddly enough it was the same room where the first part took place. There were five other guys assigned to the room as well, whom I did not know. There were bunkbeds set up for us, but they decided it might be better to take the top ones down so everybody could have a bottom bunk. I had a tape measure and started to measure the size of the room to make sure they would fit, but they thought I was foolish to do so.
Then this girl I know from church comes by and says, "Scates, the Dollar Store on the first floor is having a sale on Mini-Mag Lights, and my floor is all out of flashlights, so we need to get some while they're on sale." I replied that my floor was also out, so we went to this guy (another friend from church) who was in charge of acquisitions, and he okayed our purchases.
So we went to go get the flashlights.
Labels: dreams
Monday, October 25, 2004
Weird Dream.
So, I dreamt I heard someone sneaking around in my room. Then I dreamt I woke up, and checked around the house (which was a strange mix of the house I currently live in and the house I grew up in), and discovered that this guy from my church actually had a tan plastic bucket, that when worn, would allow a person to walk through walls by basically moving the person's molecules around the molecules of the wall.
Anyway, I found the bucket and tried it out. I then told him that such an item was dangerous, to which he agreed, and he told me that his dad, who is an elder at church, also was in charge of a large vault owned by a secret international syndicate which was hidden under their house and where they kept dangerous top-secret pieces of technology, and that they were going to put the bucket there for safe keeping. Whew! But I also demonstrated the bucket to my roommates, and they thought it was pretty cool.
It was sort of weird walking through the walls, and you had to kind of push your way through. I was also worried that it might mess up and I'd get a piece of sheetrock embedded in an artery or something.
Labels: dreams
Tuesday, July 06, 2004
Weird Dream.
So, I was minding my own business when the weather got bad. I saw a tornado forming on a nearby hill, so I decided to hide under a nearby table. Hosea, the Hebrew prophet, was standing nearby, so I told him to get under the table for his own safety. He did, and the tornado went by. Some little kids happened to show up, and I told them to stay put while I went for help.
Labels: dreams
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
Weird Dream.
So, we were on this quest or something, and we had to go through these tunnels that were mostly ancient ruins and partially caves. (I've always had dreams about nice underground mazes. Go figure.) But we had to hurry and go, because there was a giant spider monster in the ruins, of course, and we had to get to wherever it was we were going before the spider's shift started (I guess he started work at 8:25pm). And of course, I was running late, as I always do in my dreams and as I often do in real life, and it was already 8:40pm, which meant I could still go through the maze, but I might have to fight the spider.
Labels: dreams
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
Weird dream.
I dreamt that I was the last non-smoker on Earth, and that the tobacco companies decided to concentrate their entire marketing force solely on me.
So here I am, holed up in a classroom in the corner of the second-floor of my home church in Lexington, TN. There is a camera crew outside in the hallway, and there are police outside on the street looking up at me, and they have their guns out. All I have is a slingshot, and I don't even have any rocks – all I have is what's in my pockets, and I can't get my tube of Blistex to stay in the pocket of the slingshot so I can sling it at the cops. So I jump out the window on the other side of the building where they're not looking.
Fortunately, I'm wearing anti-gravity shoes (see pic), which have a separate steering handle, and I scoot back to Nashville, which is now only a couple of miles away (apparently they moved Lexington (and Vanderbilt) to just west of Franklin).
In other news, I still haven't found the wasp in my apartment.
Labels: dreams
Friday, April 16, 2004
Weird dream.
So, I'm wandering around this street in Washington, D.C., and this guy comes up to me and says that he's Ronald Reagan. The conversation goes like this:
RR: Hi, I'm Ronald.
AS: Hi, I'm Andy.
RR: Nice to meet you, Alex.
AS: No, it's...
At this point, his four secret service handlers come up and lead him away. The head guy says, "Thanks, we have trouble loosing this guy all the time."
AS: Nice to meet you, Mr. Reagan.
RR: No, it's Alex.
AS: Bye, Alex.
Real nice guy. Then I dreamed they closed the White House for the day, and so I had to leave.
Labels: dreams
Tuesday, April 06, 2004
So, one time I had this dream. I think it was from last fall.
Aliens were coming to invade our planet (of course), and so we tried to hide as many people as we could in these underground bunkers (just like in Deep Impact). Anyway, I was one of the last people to get inside, and Security Chief Garibaldi (from Babylon 5) checked my ID and let me in.
At this point, the dream cuts to after the aliens have left. We look around outside, and everybody that wasn't able to get in the bunkers is still there, although they're wandering around in a daze, quite disoriented.
However, to propel the narrative, I knew what actually was going on – these weren't really the same people that got left outside. The people who were left outside were disintegrated by alien ray guns, which left nothing but their skeletons. These dazed people were, in fact, re-animated copies of the disintegrated people, built around the very skeletons of the people they were copies of, as if someone had come after the ray gun incident and tried to rebuild all the people who were destroyed. Or something like that.
Anyway, these people are gradually recovering their memories, and gradually becoming more like the originals. I try to convince this one girl that she isn't really who she thinks she is, but is a copy of who she thinks she is, since the original person was disintegrated by ray guns. Of course, she won't believe me.
At this point, several of us are at my grandparents' house, where we discover a skeleton in the basement, which immediately, when exposed to air, starts to reconstitute itself like all the others. So we run upstairs.
However, the skeleton has become a woman who is not very happy. She is wearing a business suit and is carrying a diamond-hard glass broadsword, with which to kill us with. So we run out to the carport.
At this point, I wake up. The End.
Incidentally, the next night I dreamt I had my own battalion of clone troopers.
Labels: dreams
