ASK FLOYD!

Here are some common questions we have received here, and so I thought I'd take this time to answer a few of them.

Q: The Jazzmaster bridge is terrible! What can I do?
A: Either install a Jazzmaster/Jaguar buzzstop or replace the bridge with that of a Mustang, although you may have to wrap tape around the posts to make it stay in place.

Q: Who is the "Elect Lady" that John refers to in his Second Epistle?
A: Some say it is a nickname for a fellow church, but I lean toward the opinion that it is a specific woman, perhaps a friend or relative.

Q: Why does Lucas screw up my childhood by constantly changing the original Star Wars Trilogy?
A: They're his movies, so he can do what he wants. They're just movies. Deal with it.

Q: Are you single?
A: Yes, there is only one of me.

Q: How many hit points do you have?
A: 1800, so don't even think about trying to start something.
Q: I think I can take you...
A: You're welcome to try, but you must sign a waiver.
Q: No really, I think I can take you...
A: If you try, I will burn you like the Crazy World of Arthur Brown.

Q: What did you think of The Passion movie?
A: The what?
Q: The one with Monica Bellucci...
A: Persephone from the Matrix sequels? Sounds racy - I don't watch those kinds of movies.

Q: Why does almost all 'christian worship music' sound like a bland cross between U2 and Dave Matthews?
A: It could be worse, at least they're finally phasing out the Michael Bolton influence. I'm sure they have a Creed-style band that could tide you over.
Q: I could use some variety...
A: Buy a guitar.

Q: How will it all end?
A: In fire. What did you expect?

Anyway, that was my first Q+A column. Feel free to leave questions about whatever, and maybe I will answer them in a future column sometime soon!