Alrighty, then.

I have a weblog now, just like countless other netizens across this vast round globe that we like to call "That Big Round Thing Under Nashville". No, actually I made that part up. Sorry. Nobody calls it that.

So, well, something newsy... Okay, I can't think of anything, so here's the Nate the Snake story. Again.


Once upon a time, there was a snake named Nate. Nate lived in the woods, but he found his life to be dull and purposeless. So he prayed to God that He might show Nate his purpose, and finally one day, God spoke to Nate.

"Nate," said God, "I want you to go the desert, and there you will find a Great Lever. You must protect this Lever with your life, for if it is thrown, the world will be destroyed."

So Nate obeyed God and went into the desert, where he began his vigil of guarding the Lever.

Days became weeks. Weeks became months. Months became years. After twenty years of uneventful duty, Nate became despondent once again and prayed to God.

As he finished his prayer, he looked up to the horizon and saw a dump truck hurtling out of control straight for the Lever. Nate knew that he must stop the dump truck from hitting the Lever or else it would be the end. The dump truck drew closer, and Nate still had no idea what to do.

Suddenly, at the last moment, Nate threw himself in front of the dump truck. The dump truck skidded across his little body, killing him instantly, but fortunately it caused the dump truck to veer to the side, narrowly missing the Lever, and it disappeared into the other horizon.

And the moral of the story is "better Nate than Lever." (author unknown)